The Olympics Opening Ceremonies Recap in Advance!!!

Or at least at less of a delay.

I had the great pleasure of being live-chatted opening ceremony snark from Paris this morning.

me: i should trade in my euros before they are worthless
okay
will the opening ceremonies make me hate china more?
or less?
Linda: ummm...
you probably more.
me: oh dear
this will be an interesting night in taht case
Linda: they make pretty much all other olympic opening ceremonies like they were trying to get by on the cheap.
Linda: so yeah...
probably not going to think so highly of them.
me: hmmm
they probably killed panda babies
and did deals with the devil
but in any case,
im quoting you
in my facebook event
Linda: that sounds really plausible.
me: you are soooo secret sourcey
Linda: oh yes because i'm seven hours ahead and no network has such a death grip on the olympics here.
six
you are hosting an opening ceremonies event?
me: still
indeed
we are ordering chinese
and then
we are playing games on sunday
Linda: very cool.
me: donde did you watch?
Linda: through the olympic website...through france.
they show events live.
but i think it is having problems
oh well no parade of nations for me.
me: sad
are you watching it even as we speak???
Linda: well i have been for the past hour
for a while i was so bored, i was thinking of live blogging it.
but i figured that would look sketch if someone came in.
and now the connection kind of died.
wait the danes just passed
the order is really strange.
it is now uganda
me: i dont get it
is this like
the order in romanized chinesse?
Linda: i think so.
closest i can approximate.
though it is now going us
Us
because it was ukraine and then uruguay.
but as far as i can tell they are still near the beginning.
argentinian team is HOT!
me: this is super odd
hahahahhaha
i want to live blog you narrating it to me
Linda: uzbek team...not so much.
[sidebar: did you know that russia is kind of currently invading georgia]
me: ummm
nope
not so much
Linda: yeah it's kind of bad.
me: silly medvedev
i will look at this
Linda: yeah well its funny in the british papers, it takes a while to realize that medvedev is president.
because they all went for quotes to putin in china instead of medvedev in moscow.
also the chinese way of pronouncing countries is very interesting. i'm still not figuring out the order.
also girls in white shirts jumping around the track that the atheletes are walking on. isn't that exhausting?
cuba is getting big cheers.
and president bowed...? wow you are really going to hate china more.
still worst thing about it are the ugly suits they are wearing.
omg...when you watch? look at the girls in the white...they are wearing ugly go go boots.
me: ahahahhahahahah
im on it
sorry
metting with boss's boss
Linda: no i'm sorrry...i'm being obnoxious...
okay well talk to you later.
me: nono
are you leaving work?
Linda: no.
me: I AM COOLER THAN THE OLYMPICS
Linda: okay.
sorry.
i thought you had to go to the meeting.
me: you should parle with me
nope
jsut did
sorry
Linda: okay...also really strange music selection that is not synced to the countrie.
it is like ethnic.
but like strange mexican music with african countries?
and yes, you are cooler than the olympics.
ummm isn't the belarussian president like CRAZY????
me: i th ink???
but they are my fav. olympic nation
Linda: belarussians?
why?
uhoh white outfit girls are not synced. i think heads are going to roll tonight.
me: sad
but true
Linda: oooo so protest by work today...
tons of riot police
either anti-China or pro-Tibet.
not sure.
me: hmmm
i will guess the latter
Linda: meh...sarkozy is there.
people were pissed.
everybody loves the canadians
but their outfit is ugly like whoa!
me: are they wearing roots?
oh noes
Linda: no didn't you know...roots lost the contract.
me: way worse than rl toolyness
hahah
Linda: because they started making u.s. outfits.
me: i like that you saw the devastating import of that
Linda: and then the u.s. switched to ralph lauren.
wow but it's so ugly.
i think my retinas just detached.
me: wow
this is a sad sad downfall
i once bought a too-short unflattering roots shirt
to pay homage to the cheated canadian figure skaters

All overly controversial opinions are probably joking - lighten up!